Pieces of My Heart
by LiquifiedStars
Summary: Post Miracle Queen - Marinette’s nights are haunted by memories of recent event. A late night run to clear her head is met by unexpected company and a realisation she had tried to hide. A Ladynoir story.


Marinette tossed and turned again and again in her bed. Memories of images and responsibilities from the last few weeks had been haunting her mind causing sleep to elude her night after night. Alya had noticed at school how tired she had become, asking with concern if everything was alright. Marinette would brush it off with a smile like she always did saying she was working late on a new design, or in the bakery or some other convenient excuse. She wasn't sure Alya totally bought it, but she stopped asking which Marinette was grateful for.

On the other hand, Adrien wasn't buying it at all and seemed to have been keeping a closer eye on her during the day. She assured him more than once that she was fine, just busy, but he would just look at her questionly with the same level of exhaustion evident in his own eyes. Since Marinette had taken a step back in her pursuit of Adrien, she had found herself more able to talk to him in normal sentences and their friendship had improved quite a bit. She hadn't asked him about Kagami, but she assumed they were dating. After all, they had shared Andre's ice-cream together, but then again she had too with Luka yet she was not dating him. Not that he didn't want to, but she couldn't bring herself to. She knew it broke his heart when she turned him down, but she knew it was the right thing to do. There just wasn't enough pieces of her to go around.

Marinette looked at the clock in her room and groaned at the 1:50AM that illuminated back at her. She sat up, accidently disturbing Tikki as she did. The little red Kwami floated sleepily up to her chosen. "Can't sleep again?" She asked, her voice full of concern. Marinette slowly shook her head. Tikki looked down sadly before she had an idea. "Why don't we go for a quick run. A rush of cold air can be good to clear the head?" Marinette looked up at her skylight. The stars were out and the moon was shining. It might be a bit chilly out, but it wasn't a bad idea. At least it was better than continuing to toss and turn the way she had been. Marinette smiled at her Kwami and nodded, calling her transformation before quietly slipping out into the night.

Throwing her yo-yo, Ladybug relished the brisk air on her face. After a good half hour of scaling buildings and leaping across rooftops, Ladybug stopped to have a breather on top of one of her favourite perches. The rooftop was high and fairly sheltered from the view of anyone nearby - not that anyone else was out at this hour. Sitting on the edge, Ladybug looked up at the moon. It was full and bright. She couldn't help but be reminded of the time Chat Noir had set up that candlelit scene for her under a moon just like this one. She felt a pain in her heart as she remembered turning him down. She had turned him down for Adrien, who was now with Kagami.

She couldn't bring herself to hate Kagami. The Japanese girl did what Marinette had been too scared to do, go after the person she loved. Marinette had decided that if Kagami could make Adrien happy, then that was what was more important. Though she had to admit, some days he looked almost as bad as she felt and she couldn't help but wonder why. Nevertheless, Adrien wasn't hers to claim. She had never told him how she really felt and now...now she was Guardian of the Miraculous. The weight of the responsibility she felt in protecting such a secret really left no room for relationships with civilians, not Adrien and not Luka.

Luka. She really did like Luka and she knew how he felt about her, but she didn't love him. Not in the way she believed he deserved to be loved. She felt bad about it, because Luka was there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on but she could never give him more than just a piece of her heart. She could never tell him what was really the matter, that her sadness that day Miracle Queen struck was more than giving up on Adrien, but that she had been handed an enormous responsibility and lost her mentor in the process. What she wouldn't give to talk one more time with Master Fu. She had spoken to Wayzz many times over the last few weeks, but as wise as the Turtle Kwami was, he could never replace Master Fu.

In that dead of night Ladybug let the wall to all her emotions fall away and she began to cry. She cried for Master Fu, she cried for Adrien, she cried for Luka. She cried until she didn't know what she was crying for. Without a sound, she suddenly felt two strong leather clad arms wrap around her from behind. "It's alright m'lady, whatever is upsetting you, it will all be alright." It had been weeks since Chat had called her that. Hearing it inexplicably set her off on another round of tears as Chat continued to kneel behind her and hold her close, resting his chin on her shoulder and giving her the time she needed to steady her breathing.

"I'm okay now." She whispered trying to smile at him. His green eyes were full of concern.

"You want to tell me about it? I mean, it's not like you to be out at this hour." Ladybug looked at him and it occurred to her that Chat was out at stupid hour too, just like her.

"I could ask you the same." She said realising there was a sadness behind those green eyes. Chat averted his gaze for a moment and sighed.

"It's about a girl." He started, darting a look at Ladybug. "I don't mean in that way, well not exactly anyway. I think I kind of offended her." Ladybug stared at Chat blinking.

"How could you possibly offend anyone?" She asked genuinely surprised. Chat might have been many annoying things to her, but he was also wonderfully kind, sweet and always a gentleman. Chat's shoulders rolled forward and he had his head down.

"She tried to kiss me and I pushed her away." Ladybug wasn't sure what to say so she let him continue. "The first time she was understanding, but when I did it again a week later she was less forgiving." Chat looked visibly upset about what had happened. Placing a hand on his shoulder, Ladybug decided to push her own issues aside to help her partner.

"Chat, if you're not ready to take that next step in your relationship then…"

"That's not really it." Chat interrupted. "I can't be in a relationship with her. I tried, really I did, but I just can't and it isn't fair on her. She wants more than I can give her and she's angry at me now. We still talk, mostly because of our families, but it's cooled somewhat." Chat abruptly stood up and walked over to lean on an air conditioner unit looking out towards the city. Ladybug stood up, but kept back watching him from afar. A breeze had picked up, and his soft blonde hair bounced around his cat ears.

"Chat…" she began before he interrupted again.

"She's my friend, but I can't be with her when I'm still in love with someone else." He turned and looked at Ladybug before looking back out at the skyline. He sighed again. "What about you? What's keeping you up tonight?"

Ladybug wrapped her arms around herself. "I feel overwhelmed." Chat turned and watched her closely as she stood near the edge of the roof. "I didn't expect Master Fu to make me Guardian yet. I wasn't ready. I have so many questions and no one to talk to about it." She then sighed heavily. "On top of that, you know that boy I told you I liked?" Chat nodded. "He's with someone else now. I guess it's for the best." She shrugged. Chat couldn't deny a small bit of him wasn't disappointed.

Chat leaned his back on the air conditioner to look at Ladybug. "You can talk to me you know. I understand the responsibility that has been thrown into your lap. Maybe…" he looked towards her earnestly. "Maybe I can help share the load."

Ladybug looked at her partner. No matter what had happened, no matter what the circumstance, Chat was always there for her. Even though she rejected him, even though she had taken him for granted, he never wavered in his devotion to her and she knew she would never be able to do any of this without him. She may have left a piece of her heart with Adrien, but she could see now that Chat meant so much more to her then she would admit to. She had realised something that she hadn't before, that Chat held a piece of her heart too. She first became aware of it when she saved him from the akuma. She saw it when Hawk Moth had him in his clutches, letting Mayura go so she could free him. She saw it again when he encouraged her and supported her against Hawk Moth and Miracle Queen. She had stuffed up, everything that had gone wrong was all her fault and yet he didn't judge her, but helped her to focus and win the battle. Feeling the tears start to rise again in her eyes she turned away from him and covered her face with her hands. Chat's heart sank.

"Well, I guess if you don't want to trust me with your secrets then that's okay. Just know that I'm here for you if you need me." Ladybug realised she hadn't answered him. She wiped her eyes, still keeping her back to Chat.

"Why are you so good to me?" Her voice was nearly above a whisper, but Chat could hear it with is heightened hearing.

"Because I love you m'lady." Ladybug shook her head.

"I can't love you Chat. I saw things, terrible things. Our love destroyed the world." Chat gapped at her words. Then he knitted his eyebrows together.

"What are talking about?" Ladybug gathered the courage to turn and face him. The look on his face was a mixture of bewilderment and pain.

"Bunnyx came to me a few weeks ago. In the future you had been akumatized and I had to save you." Chat went to speak but she held a hand up to stop him. "Before you ask, I don't know why you were akumatized but something I had done led to you knowing my identity." Ladybug turned away and looked up at the moon. "You destroyed the moon with your super charged cataclysm. There was desolation everywhere. You said it was our love that destroyed the world." Ladybug bit her lip. She had never meant to tell him anything about being Chat Blanc, but the nightmares kept haunting her and the words tumbled out without much sense out of her mouth.

Chat was trying to process what she was saying. He didn't really understand but one thing stood out - she said 'our love'. She had loved him. Whatever had happened she had returned his love. He took a few steps towards her.

"But you fixed it didn't you?" Ladybug nodded. "Then whatever happened in that future won't happen now?" She shrugged.

"I guess not, no." She still wouldn't look at him but Chat felt his courage coming back.

"M'lady you know I love you. I always have and I always will. Whatever happened in that future you saw, I know in my heart that what we would have felt would have been real. That I would love you on both sides of the mask."

"Chat I can't love you." Her voice was quivering as she repeated it, more to herself than to him. Chat closed the distance between them, turning her around to face him and holding her by the shoulders.

"Then look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me." Ladybug lifted her eyes to look into Chat's. There was so much love and so much hope in those piercing green eyes and Ladybug's heart began to race. For the first time she really saw him. In that moment she knew that she had been pushing her feeling around and keeping them hidden behind her mask.

She knew that what her and Chat shared went beyond just the physical bond of their miraculous. He was her partner, her other half, her best friend. No matter what they faced, he was the one always by her side and she trusted him with her life. A well of feelings began to bubble up inside her, stronger than she had ever felt before. She shook her head still trying to fight it.

"I can't." She cried as she turned away from him again.

"Then why can't…"

"Because I'm afraid." She took a few steps away from him towards the wall.

"Of what?" He pressed on. "Hawk Moth? What you saw in that future?" She could hear the desperation raising in his voice. Ladybug turned her head slightly towards him.

"Partly, but that's not the whole reason." She said softly. Chat shook his head.

"I don't understand Bug. Why then?"

"Because…" she closed her eyes tight with her arms wrapped around her. "I'm afraid of loving you that much." For a moment there was silence between them. Marinette had always thought she would only love Adrien like this. An all consuming love that could set the world on fire. But Adrien was a million miles away now, untouchable and out of her reach. Chat was here, Chat's love for her was real and despite her best efforts, the walls were beginning to crumble. Maybe she still loved Adrien in some ways, and he would always hold that piece of her heart, but something inside her had changed. Slowly Chat turned her back towards him. Her head was down and her eyes were closed. Carefully he lifted her chin up to look at him. She opened her eyes and he cupped his hand around her cheek.

"I'm not afraid Little Bug, because I would gladly walk through hell and back if only you would tell me you loved me too." Ladybug leaned into his touch. She couldn't help the way her pulse raced, the way his words made her heart skip a beat. It felt crazy, illogical, insane even. Nothing was making any sense and yet, she trusted this feeling more than anything because it felt so right.

"But we don't even know who the other really is, and it's too dangerous to know. Not yet at least." Chat shrugged his shoulders, his hand having moved to play with her pigtails.

"I told you m'lady, I love you anyway. I know eventually as Guardian you might have to know my identity, but if you don't want t tell me yours yet, that's fine by me." Ladybug felt something deep in her chest.

"I don't know if there are anymore pieces of my heart I can give Chat."

"Then let me give you a piece of mine instead." He leaned his forehead against hers, his hand softly caressing her face as his other hand came up to hold her waist. "lI'll cataclysm every akuma from now until the end of time, I'll defend you with my life if I have to." He lowered his voice almost to a whisper. "Just let me love you."

Ladybug couldn't hold it back anymore. "I do love you my Kitty." She confessed. "I think I always loved you." And with that she threw abandon to the wind. Hawk Moth be damned, the world be damned. When his lips came down to claim hers it was more soft and sweet then she could have imagined. She may have thought she wanted this with Adrien, but everything felt right, like they belonged. Yin and Yang, creation and destruction. He pulled back all too soon, a whimper leaving her lips as he did. She opened her eyes to see a smile on his face that could light up the darkest night. Lacing her fingers around his neck, she pulled him back down into another kiss. Where the first was soft and delicate, this was fire and passion, the intensity taking them both by surprise, yet they met it will equal viggor. Under the luminescence of the full moon, they laid their souls bare. Chat wrapped his arms around her, holding her as close as he could. Whatever had led to this point, he was never letting this go.

Finally parting for air, they looked at each other breathless before Chat laid her head against his chest, resting his cheek on her head. She could feel the pace of his heart racing against her own. "What do we do now Chaton?" She quietly asked. Chat held her tighter.

"We'll figure it out Bugaboo, we always do." Looking back at her he tucked a stray hair back behind her ear. "It will be morning soon, better get some sleep." Ladybug wrapped her arms back around Chat's waist, pressing her cheek into his chest.

"Can't we stay just a few minutes longer." Chat couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. He sat down on the ground, bringing his Lady onto his lap and letting her curl up into him. It felt like a dream to be holding her like this. There would be challenges to face, of course, but he couldn't bring himself to care about the consequences. She loved him, that's all that mattered for now, the rest would come later. Even if he could only see her like this, it would be worth it just to have her need him, to want to be with him, to hold him and steal those sweet moonlight kisses.

"Take as long as you need m'lady." He whispered, because there was nowhere else on Earth he would rather be than in her arms.


End file.
